In the real estate world, things get heated. We deal with high commissions, emotional sellers, and the constant pressure of recruiting and retention. It is easy to feel like a difficult agent, a frustrated client, or a pushy affiliate is out to get you.
When a deal hits a snag or a team member pushes back on a new policy, our reflex is often to get defensive. But there is a better way to handle the friction.
Indra Nooyi, the former CEO of Pepsi, shared some advice in a 2008 interview with Fortune Magazine that completely changes the dynamic of a difficult conversation. She suggests that whatever someone says or does, you should assume positive intent.
Flipping the Script
Nooyi points out that when you assume negative intent, you get angry. You react. You might even scream or get defensive. But if you take away that anger and assume they actually mean well, your approach shifts.
Think about the last time a top producer came into your office complaining about a change in the commission split or a tech glitch. It is easy to think they are just being difficult or ungrateful. But what if you stopped and thought, “Maybe they are reacting this way because they are stressed about their own overhead or they just don’t understand the ‘why’ behind the change?”
As Nooyi explains, when you assume positive intent, you start to truly listen. You start trying to understand if they are hurt, upset, or just confused. You stop being “random” in your response and start being a leader.
Breaking the Cycle of Negativity
In our business, the heat of the moment is a daily occurrence. If you react from a negative perspective just because you didn’t like how someone else reacted, you end up with two negatives fighting each other. That doesn’t close deals, and it definitely doesn’t build a great office culture.
When you make the effort to assume the best in people, they usually notice. They might even realize their own reaction was over the top because they see you are actually trying to help.
Why It Works for You
This isn’t just about being “nice.” It is about your own emotional intelligence. When you aren’t busy being angry or defensive, you have the headspace to solve the actual problem.
Next time a conversation starts to go sideways, try to get behind what the other person is saying. Assume they have a good reason for their frustration. You might be amazed at how much faster you can find a solution when you aren’t busy fighting an invisible enemy.
