Let’s talk about connecting with people. In today’s world, we’re swimming in communication tools, right? Emails, texts, DMs, video calls, social media comments… the list goes on. We can reach almost anyone, almost instantly.
But here’s a question I’ve been mulling over: With all this connecting, how much are we actually connecting? You know that feeling – maybe you have hundreds of contacts, but only a few you feel truly linked with? Or maybe you’re trying to build relationships (for work, networking, or just life!) and feel like you’re not quite breaking through the noise?
It turns out, not all communication is created equal. I came across a concept that really puts this into perspective, often called the “7 Levels of Communication.” (Michael Maher wrote a whole book about it called “7L,” focused on building relationships that lead to referrals, but the core idea applies much more broadly). It essentially ranks communication methods by their power to build genuine connection and influence.
Think of it like climbing a ladder – the higher you go, the more effort it takes, but the stronger the connection becomes.
Let’s Break Down the Levels (My Interpretation):
Instead of getting bogged down in exactly seven rigid steps, let’s think about them in zones of impact:
The Broadcast Zone (The Lower Rungs): This is your mass communication stuff. Think advertising, generic flyers, maybe those mass emails that don’t even use your name, or broad social media blasts. It’s impersonal, one-to-many.
- Pros: Reaches lots of people cheaply and easily. Good for general awareness.
- Cons: Very low impact on individuals, easily ignored, doesn’t build relationships. We get bombarded with this daily.
Getting Warmer (The Middle Rungs): Here, things start to get a bit more targeted and personal. This includes things like:
- Direct Mail/Targeted Digital: Maybe a slightly more personalized email, a specific offer, or a targeted online message. Better than a generic blast, but still often feels automated.
- The Phone Call: Picking up the phone for a real-time, voice-to-voice conversation. You hear tone, you can have a back-and-forth. Definitely more connection than email!
- The Handwritten Note: Okay, this one is powerful. In our digital world, getting a thoughtful, handwritten note feels incredibly personal and intentional. It cuts through the clutter like nothing else. It shows you took real time and effort.
The Connection Zone (The Top Rungs): This is where the magic happens for building deep trust and rapport.
- Events & Seminars: Being face-to-face with people in a group setting. You share an experience, you can chat informally, you build community.
- One-on-One Meetings: The top of the ladder! Sitting down with someone face-to-face, whether it’s for coffee, lunch, or a formal meeting. This allows for the richest communication – you see body language, share undivided attention, and build trust much faster.
Why Does This Ladder Matter?
The big “aha!” for me wasn’t just knowing the levels, but realizing the importance of intentionality. It’s super easy to default to the bottom rungs – firing off an email is quick, right? But quick and easy doesn’t always build strong connections.
If you want to:
- Sincerely thank someone… a handwritten note (middle rung) beats a quick email (low rung) every time.
- Build trust with a potential client or collaborator… aiming for a call or meeting (high rungs) is far more effective than just digital messages.
- Resolve a misunderstanding… a face-to-face conversation (top rung) is usually much better than a tense email chain.
Choosing a higher level of communication, even when a lower level is easier, sends a powerful message: “This relationship matters,” “I value your time,” “I’m willing to invest in this connection.”
Time to Level Up Your Communication?
Looking at this, I definitely see areas where I can consciously choose to “level up.” Maybe swap a few emails for a quick call? Send a couple of handwritten thank-you notes this month? Make that coffee meeting happen instead of letting it linger in the DMs?
In a world that often feels disconnected despite constant digital chatter, being intentional about how we communicate can make all the difference. It helps us cut through the noise and build the kind of relationships – personal and professional – that truly matter.
What do you think? Do you notice these levels in your own interactions? Does this inspire you to try reaching for a higher rung this week?
