I was talking to a colleague recently who was convinced the sky was falling. Between the inventory ups and downs and the latest round of law suits and regulatory headaches, they felt like they were constantly playing defense. It is a familiar feeling in our world. If you have been in real estate, lending, or title for more than five minutes, you know that moment when a challenge stops feeling like a speed bump and starts looking like a brick wall.
The natural instinct is to vent, white-knuckle it, and pray for things to go back to normal. But “normal” is a moving target.
Lately, I have been leaning on a concept from Ryan Holiday’s book, The Obstacle Is the Way. The core idea is simple, but it hits hard: the thing blocking your path isn’t just an annoyance. It is the path.
Shifting the Lens
In our industry, we are constantly navigating high-stakes deals and big personalities. We tend to see obstacles as distractions from our “real” work. Holiday argues (drawing from Stoic philosophy) that our interpretation of the problem is actually the bigger problem.
Look at the market shifts we have survived. When rates jumped, some people pulled the covers over their heads. But the high performers I know? They treated it like a masterclass. They stopped leaning on easy “order-taking” refis and finally mastered the art of the tough conversation. They got creative with financing because they had to. As Holiday puts it:
“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
Recruiting in a Gritty Market
I see this all the time with broker owners and recruiters. When the “top producers” are staying put, you can either complain about a stagnant talent pool or you can innovate. This obstacle forces you to stop selling generic splits and start selling actual culture and better systems.
If it is hard to hire right now, that struggle is just a spotlight. It is showing you exactly where your value proposition is weak or where your training needs a renovation. The difficulty isn’t stopping you; it is showing you where to build.
The Deal Killer (and the Tough Candidate) Are Your Best Teachers
For the MLOs, agents, and recruiters in the trenches: we all have that one “impossible” file. It is the one with the nightmare appraisal or the title issue that feels like a dead end. For a recruiter, it is the candidate who has every reason to stay put or the one who ghosts you at the eleventh hour.
It is easy to call these a waste of time. But looking back at my own career, the “deal killers” and the “ungettable” candidates were my best mentors. They forced me to collaborate with affiliate partners in ways I never had to before. They forced me to solve real business problems instead of just pitching a desk. I did not just get through those messes; I became a better professional because the situation was difficult.
Making it Practical
When you hit that next wall (and we both know it is coming) try to look at it through the three steps Holiday outlines:
- Perception: Drop the drama. It is not “bad” that lead flow slowed down; it is just a data point. What is actually happening?
- Action: Stop waiting for the perfect time to move. If the front door is locked, find a window. What is the one deliberate step you can take right now?
- Will: This is the internal grit. It is accepting the market for what it is and deciding to use this pressure to get stronger.
The Bottom Line
We do not grow when things are easy. We grow when the market or the competition forces us to find a gear we did not know we had. The obstacle isn’t blocking the road; it is the road.
Next time you are feeling stuck, ask yourself: What is this mess trying to teach me that I was too comfortable to learn before?
Source Reference: Holiday, R. (2014). The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph.Portfolio/Penguin.
