I had a fantastic catch-up call with Coach Greg Benjamin recently, and he left me with a gem that hit me squarely between the eyes:
“Use the past as a school, not a jail.”
In our line of work—whether you’re a broker-owner, a recruiter, or an agent on the front lines—that single sentence holds a universe of truth. The world of real estate is littered with would-haves, could-haves, and should-haves. The deal that fell apart at the 11th hour. The top agent you couldn’t retain. The market shift you didn’t see coming fast enough.
It’s easy to let those moments become the bars of a cell. We replay the conversations, second-guess our decisions, and let the fear of repeating those mistakes dictate our future moves. That’s the jail. It leads to paralysis, rumination, and being stuck.
But what if we saw it differently? What if every setback was just a lesson plan? That’s the school. One that leads to growth, learning, and unstoppable forward momentum.
This resonates so deeply with what I’ve learned from sailing. There’s a clear and powerful separation of roles when you’re on the water:
- God’s part: The how (the strength and direction of the wind) and the when (the timing of the tides). These are the market forces, the interest rate hikes, the client who gets cold feet—the things completely out of my control.
- My part: The what (steering the vessel) and the why (keeping my eyes fixed on the destination). This is my strategy, my mindset, my team’s culture, my commitment to my goals.
For too long, the jail of my past was built with the guilt and shame of old storms—the deals I lost, the opportunities I missed. I was trying to control the wind. But the school of my future is being built with the grace and growth I find on the open water. I can’t command the tides, but I can learn to read them better. I can’t stop a squall, but I can teach my crew (and myself) how to secure the sails and navigate through it.
- That failed deal from last year? It’s not a monument to your failure. It’s a masterclass in negotiation or contract clauses.
- The agent who left for a competitor? That’s not a personal rejection. It’s a Ph.D. in culture, compensation plans, and value proposition.
- A slow quarter? It’s not a verdict on your ability. It’s a curriculum on lead generation, budgeting, and building a more resilient business.
The power is in the pivot from “Why did this happen to me?” to “What is this trying to teach me?”
So, I’ll ask you the same question I’m asking myself today:
How do you ensure you’re using your past as a school?
