Mark's passion and expertise is enabling real estate broker-owners and team leaders to create the systems, structure, and processes to support their growth. He also enjoys sharing his thoughts on business success on his blog: www.winningtheday.blog
Angela Duckworth said it well, “At various points, in big ways and small, we get knocked down. If we stay down, grit loses. If we get up, grit prevails. Grit and self-control are related but are not the same thing.”
How to get “gritty?” Duckworth identified 5 ways:
1. Pursue Your Interests: Find something that genuinely fascinates you. Passion fuels perseverance.
2. Practice Deliberately: Embrace mistakes and setbacks as part of the learning process. You’ll make errors when you practice, but that’s how improvement happens. View frustration positively—it’s a sign of growth.
3. Clarity of Goals: Be crystal-clear about your ultimate goal and align smaller goals with it. Clarity helps maintain focus and commitment.
4. Make Your Work Meaningful: Seek ways to infuse purpose into your tasks. Even minor adjustments can make your work feel more fulfilling.
5. Practice Optimistic Self-Talk: Replace negative thoughts with enabling thoughts. Encourage yourself during challenges.
Duckworth said, “Grit isn’t fixed—it’s something you can develop over time as you keep pushing forward.”
Like many proud parents, I love celebrating my sons’ achievements—even if one chose the UCSC Banana Slugs over the UCI Anteaters! But today, I’m tackling a different kind of “ant”—the Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) that can infest our minds.
Coined by Dr. Daniel Amen, ANTs are negative thought patterns that can sabotage our well-being. Dr. Amen’s inspiration came from a literal ant infestation in his kitchen, a stark reminder of how these mental pests can overrun our minds, stealing our joy and clarity.
Every thought triggers a chemical reaction in our brain. Negative thoughts—like sadness, hopelessness, or anger—release chemicals that can cause physical symptoms like clammy hands, muscle tension, and rapid heart rate. They can also impair our judgment, learning, and memory. Conversely, positive thoughts release chemicals that promote relaxation and mental clarity.
So, how do we exterminate these mental ANTs? First, we need to identify the common species:
Fortune Telling: Predicting negative outcomes without evidence (“I’m going to fail this presentation”).
Mind Reading: Assuming you know what others are thinking (“They probably think I’m incompetent”).
Guilt Beatings: Using “should” or “must” to create feelings of obligation and self-criticism (“I should have done better”).
Blame: Shifting responsibility to others, preventing personal growth and problem-solving.
Labeling: Using negative labels to describe yourself or others (“I’m a failure,” “He’s a jerk”).
Here’s a simple three-step strategy to crush your ANTs:
Catch It: When you notice a negative emotion, pause and identify the thought behind it. What are you telling yourself?
Name It: Determine which type of ANT is at work (fortune telling, mind reading, etc.). Giving it a name helps you recognize its pattern.
Challenge It: Question the validity of the thought. Is there real evidence to support it? What’s a more realistic or positive way to view the situation?
Example:
Thought: “I’m going to mess up this meeting.” (Fortune Telling)
Challenge: “I’ve prepared thoroughly. While things might not go perfectly, I’m capable of handling whatever comes up. Focusing on the potential negative outcome is only making me more anxious.”
By consistently practicing this three-step method, you can weaken the power of ANTs and cultivate a more positive and productive mindset. Don’t let these mental pests control your thoughts and emotions. Take charge and reclaim your mental well-being.
“Onward and upward” is a mindset that requires optimism, empathy, curiosity, and action.
Optimism is the ability to overcome adversity despite the circumstances.
Empathy is understanding situations from another’s perspective with no judgment. The ability to choose to respond rather than to react.
Curiosity. To be effective, be curious: curious about how people are feeling, curious about why things happen, curious about the future, curious about steps to take to navigate difficult waters.
Action. The winners are the doers. Talk is cheap; action speaks.
When we make changes by design vs. default, we can craft a future that supports the growth we deserve.
In today’s fast-paced world, there are countless conference opportunities for agents, team leaders, and broker-owners. Among them, Inman Connect events in New York and Las Vegas. This year’s Las Vegas event was no exception, offering a wealth of learning and networking opportunities.
The main topic?
Co-op commission sharing is dead, and how to move forward in a new commission model.
No matter which conference you choose to attend, it’s essential to have a plan for what comes next. That’s where my 4-Step Post-Conference Guide comes in. Professional conferences are unparalleled opportunities to expand your network, gain fresh ideas, deepen connections, break out of your routine, and shake things up.
Yet, many of us struggle to take action after these events. Why is that?
Often, it’s because we return home with an overwhelming amount of information to process.
To combat this, it’s crucial to create a post-conference action plan that empowers you.
The key to a successful post-conference routine is taking ACTION.
Here are 4 steps to maximize your conference investment:
Network Post-Event: Don’t let those valuable connections fade away. Follow up, close the loop, and build relationships for referrals, accountability, and more.
Leverage Your Social Channels: Showcase your commitment to excellence and service by sharing your conference experiences on social media. Highlight how your time investment benefits your customers and potential clients.
Organize Your Notes into a Checklist: Commit to action by creating a checklist of key takeaways and sharing it with an accountability partner, mentor, or coach. Checklists are powerful tools that help you get more done and keep your brain happy. According to research summarized by best-selling author Maria Konnikova, here’s why:
Your Mind Seeks Organization: Lists tap into our preferred way of receiving and organizing information at a subconscious level.
Spatial Processing: It’s easier to remember items when they’re written down in bulleted or numbered points.
Categorization: We process information more efficiently when it’s organized into lists rather than clustered in paragraphs.
Time Awareness: Knowing how long tasks will take increases our commitment to completing them.
Self-Reinforcement: Checking off items from a list provides a dopamine hit, encouraging us to return to the list for more.
Do your brain a favor and break down what you learned into actionable checklists.
Take Action NOW!: Don’t wait! Procrastination only delays your success. Implement what you’ve learned immediately.
So, there you have it—4 steps to make the most of your conference experience!
Saturday Reflections: Lessons from Golf for Life and Business
As I recover from a pinched nerve this Saturday, I find myself reflecting on some golf lesson notes I jotted down. It struck me how these concepts extend beyond the golf course, resonating with business, hobbies, and life itself. Here’s a summary of my notes:
Thoughts Precede Motion: Before any action, there’s a thought. What we think shapes what we do.
Being Comes First; Doing Second: Who do you need to be to achieve your goals? Your actions will follow your identity.
Visualize What You Want: See it, feel it, trust it. Visualization is a powerful tool in achieving our goals.
It’s Not About the Ball; It’s About What’s Possible: Focus on the potential and the possibilities, not just the immediate task.
Manage Your Mental State: Prepare yourself mentally to perform at your best. Your mindset is crucial.
Routine is All About Confidence: Choose confidence over comfort. A solid routine builds confidence.
Tempo, Rhythm, and Balance: These are key in golf and in life. Find your flow and maintain your balance.
Routine and consistency are still undefeated!
As I ponder these lessons, I realize they’re not just about improving my golf game. They’re about winning the day, every day.
#WinTheDay
PS: What do you think? Do any of these principles resonate with you?
