Skip to main content

What Story Are You Telling Yourself?

Have you ever thought that the person you have the most conversations with is YOU? And if that is the case for you and me, then the next natural question is, “what story are you telling yourself?” 

Various studies suggest we have anywhere from 6,200 up to 60,000 thoughts a day! Not sure who counted them all, but that is a lot of conversations going on in our heads. 

From this, we can conclude that one of the tendencies of the mind is to focus on the negative and ‘play the same songs’ repeatedly. One study suggested that 80% of our thoughts are negative and 95% of them were the same repetitive thoughts as the day before. So why is this, and what can we do about it? 

 

Why is it easier to think negatively?

 

The fact is negative events have a more significant impact on our brains than positive ones. Psychologists refer to this as the negative bias or also called the negativity bias.  Combine this with what psychologists call a confirmation bias, and you have a one-two punch. 

Confirmation bias is the tendency to listen more often to information that conforms with our pre-existing beliefs. Through this bias, people tend to favor information that reinforces the things they already believe. These biases combined have a powerful effect on our behavior, our decisions, and even our relationships.

In the Leahy Study, 2005, from Cornell University, scientists found that 85% of what we worry about never happens, and 15% of the worries did happen. 79% of the subjects discovered that either they could handle the difficulty better than expected or that the problem taught them a lesson worth learning. So, the conclusion? 

 

97% of our worries are baseless and result from an unfounded pessimistic perception.

 

Some ideas to redirect negative thoughts: 

  1. Start with a mindset of “No Judgments.” 
  2. Reframe the story. 
  3. Reframe your expectations.  
  4. Find a healthy distraction. 
  5. Commit to keeping optimistic company. 
  6. Question and rotate the media you choose to consume. 
  7. Start a beginning of the day and end of day gratitude journal 
  8. Connect with a mentor, coach, or trusted advisor 

If we took the time to document all the thoughts that pass through our minds, we could write a book every day.  Yet would that book be one that anyone else wants to read? Create a better story, wrote a better book. The question is: 

 

Who’s in charge you or your thoughts?

#WinTheDay

 

Technology vs. Relationships

Technology vs. Relationships.
The top 1% approach it differently.

Peter Sheehan, a leading expert on generational change and business performance, wrote about how peak performers use technology yet stay in touch with genuine relationships.

There are over twenty different ways to affirm others, but you can reduce them to just two verbs:

Notice and Verbalize.

What would happen if today:

  • At family gatherings, invite everyone to mention something they admire about another family member.
  • Look for someone making do in disappointing circumstances and affirm their perseverance.
  • When someone helps you change your mind about an issue, affirm their persuasiveness and communication skills.

Success can take many forms, like affirming others through noticing and verbalizing.

#WinTheDay

PS: Looking to increase your real estate team or office recruiting game? Book a demo to find out how we can 5X your ROI.

Why Do Most Efforts To Change Fail?

Well, that is a bummer of a headline! Read on.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

~ Leo Tolstoy

According to Harvard professor Dr. John Paul Kotter – and confirmed by my coaching experience – efforts to change fail due to a lack of a STRONG sense of URGENCY. In his book, “A Sense Of Urgency,” Kotter states:

Change efforts most often fail when those desiring to change do not create a high enough sense of urgency to make a challenging leap in a new direction. Urgency and urgency is key. Urgency is the state of mind that creates IMMEDIATE action in your new direction.

Once you have determined your desire, take action. Any action. A small step, a medium step, or a massive step. Taking action and taking more action is the ONE THING we must all learn to cultivate to achieve higher levels of success.

If you believe what you have in mind will make a difference, I just have two questions.

  • What are you waiting for?
  • What’s holding you back?

Whatever it is, push through it today and TAKE ACTION.

Share with someone right now the action step you are committed to taking… and ask them to help hold you accountable.

#WinTheDay

PS: Looking to increase your real estate team or office recruiting game? Book a demo to find out how we can 5X your ROI.

 

Top Gun – What The 1% Do Consistently

Think about it. In sports –  and all other endeavors – the game is won in the days, weeks, and even months leading up to the actual game, event, or project. The game is won in preparation. Watching films of previous games, memorizing plays, hitting the gym, eating correctly, and even getting enough sleep.

Professional real estate sales are no different.

I spend a lot of time with the top 1% of producers, helping them grow, solving business challenges, and documenting what they do. Curious?

Here are the top six things our top 1% do consistently:

  • They do their research.
  • They’re genuinely interested in and understand others’ personality styles.
  • They’re prepared for anything, especially the objections and most frequently asked questions.
  • They leave their ego in the car.
  • They are a master of managing expectations.
  • They debrief and learn from every situation.

Research

We know from the National Association of REALTORS® that 63% of consumers find real estate professionals through a referral from a friend or a past business relationship. And 68% of consumers choose a real estate professional based on their perceived trustworthiness, experience, and reputation.

Top producers know these numbers and invest their time, energy, and effort into where the business will most likely be generated.

Genuine Interest

What I have observed from top producers to those struggling is glaring. Top producers genuinely care about the relationship, while those struggling care about making a buck.

I’ve used a unique system called B.A.N.K. to pinpoint anyone’s personality in nanoseconds. It’s fun, engaging and helps create rapport.

This high emotional intelligence approach leverages the best assessment tools, high-energy training, and cutting-edge technology to maximize results.

Leave Nothing To Chance

Top performers rehearse or role-play frequently; many do this every day! Here are some tips I picked up:

  • Make a list of every question, concern, or objection your prospect might bring up.
  • Create a list of everything that could go wrong.
  • Develop a transparent, logical, authentic, and persuasive response to every possible question, concern, and objection.
  • Think of how you can get ahead of these circumstances by using stories and anecdotes, case studies and testimonials, statistics and facts.
  • Have your information, ideas, and documentation well organized so you can reference the appropriate notes and materials at any time.

Ego

Gary Vaynerchuk put it well: “When you care more about the other person than you care about hitting your quota – when you make that shift – you go into the Jedi-ness of becoming a great salesperson.”

A professional real estate salesperson with a massive ego can easily mistake refusal for rejection. When you make this mistake, it’s all too easy to take it personally. The truth? Far more people will say no than say yes.

So, how do you deal with this?

The top 1% have learned not to internalize rejection. Top performers exert power over their emotions and know this is a critical skill to master.

Managing Expectations

As a former Chief Executive of a large organization and co-founder of a going concern, I get the problems that others have not solved. And literally, I’ve been tracking these, and guess what – they all have a common root:

Unmatched expectations!

Many things have to happen, often in a specific sequence, before a transaction closes. Do you know what these things are? Do you know where you’re at in the process with each client, prospect, and partner?

  1. Seek to understand what has come before each step
  2. Don’t assume everyone knows what will happen next
  3. Anticipate needs before others
  4. Communicate constantly and clearly
  5. Under-promise and over-deliver

Debrief

Debriefing is a structured learning process designed to evolve plans while they’re being executed continuously. It originated in the military to learn quickly in rapidly changing situations and address mistakes or changes in the field. In fact, I shared this document with my team – glad to be here – after seeing the Blue Angels do a flyover.

In business, debriefing has been widely documented as critical to accelerating projects, innovating novel approaches, and hitting challenging objectives. It also brings a team together, strengthens relationships, and fosters team learning.

Top producers have mastered this concept and execute this discipline more often than others. As such, these high-performing teams are more tight-knit than those who don’t.

The game is won or lost before stepping on the playing field. So, before you play in sales again, do your research, be genuinely interested in others, be prepared for anything, leave your ego in the car and become a master of managing expectations. Finally – just like the Blue Angels – debrief and learn from every situation.

#WinTheDay

 

What Do You Really Want? 

A client I was coaching a number of years ago told me, “Coach Mark, I can’t wait to get started doing what we discussed today.” 

I asked what may seem like a silly question:

Q: “Why is that important to you?” 

The response was:

A: “It would help me sell more homes!” 

I then asked her:

Q: Why she wanted to sell more? 

A: “So I can make more money.” 

My next question? 

Q: “Why do you want to make more money?” 

A: She said, “Because I need the money to buy a larger home.”  

 So I asked, “Why?”

A: And she said, “Because I want my mother and sister to move in with me.”   

Why?

A: “Because it has been our dream for a few years to co-own a big house and live together as a family.” 

So NOW you have identified what you really want.

It’s a large house with your family living with you.  

 You don’t really want to sell more houses (that is a good thing but a by-product, the enabler of what you really want). 

What she REALLY wanted is the experience of having her family living in the same house.

Success for her was being able to provide a home for her mother and sister!

So what is it you REALLY want?

 

Imagine That
Imagine That

 

 

The Inspiration Equation

From John Maxwell. Use the “Inspiration Equation” to connect. This equation has three elements:

What People Need to Know.

Show others that you are on their side and care about them, that they matter to you, and that you expect significant things from them.

What People Need to See.

Demonstrate your conviction, character, and credibility concerning your area of expertise.

What People Need to Feel.

Be confident and passionate about your subject matter. Demonstrate your gratitude for allowing those around you to share in your passion.

When you first meet someone, how you communicate makes all the difference. Once someone knows you, credibility will become vital in maintaining your bonds with them.

#WinTheDay

PS: Looking to increase your real estate team or office recruiting game? Book a demo to find out how we can 5X your ROI.

The One Thing Is: TRUST

Stephen Covey’s book proves it, and Google’s research reinforces it… there is ONE thing in common to every individual, relationship, family, organization, and government throughout the world. When removed, the one thing will destroy the most powerful army, the most successful business, the greatest friendship, and the deepest love.

The ONE Thing Is TRUST!

TRUST is the most significant predictor of an individual’s satisfaction within their team.

According to Google research, TRUST, not a brand, is the number #1 factor consumers use in selecting an agent.

So, what is trust? Jack Welch, the legendary CEO of General Electric, said about trust, “You know it when you feel it!” In any relationship, what you do has a far greater impact than what you say. Thus, trust is established through ACTION, and action is driven by your behaviors.

In his book The Speed of Trust, Stephen Covey outlines 13 behaviors that drive trust. The first five behaviors relate to character, the second five relate to competence, and the remainder are a mix of the two.

The 13 Behaviors Are:

  1. Talk straight
  2. Demonstrate respect
  3. Create transparency
  4. Right wrongs
  5. Show loyalty
  6. Deliver RESULTS
  7. Get better every day
  8. Confront reality
  9. Clarify expectations
  10. Practice Accountability
  11. Listen first
  12. Keep commitments
  13. Trust others… extend trust to others as part of your DNA

Covey believes the quickest way to decrease trust is to violate a behavior of character, while the fastest way to build trust is to demonstrate a behavior of competence.

In the end, in today’s modern, fast-paced economy, trust is essential to our mutual prosperity. We can create it, we can restore it, and we can extend it.

Trusting this post will prompt you toward a more powerful week. How will you practice trust this week?

#WinTheDay

PS: Looking to increase your real estate team or office recruiting game? Book a demo to find out how we can 5X your ROI.