Skip to main content

    Stop the Mind Ants: How to Crush Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs)

    Like many proud parents, I love celebrating my sons’ achievements—even if one chose the UCSC Banana Slugs over the UCI Anteaters! But today, I’m tackling a different kind of “ant”—the Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) that can infest our minds.

    Coined by Dr. Daniel Amen, ANTs are negative thought patterns that can sabotage our well-being. Dr. Amen’s inspiration came from a literal ant infestation in his kitchen, a stark reminder of how these mental pests can overrun our minds, stealing our joy and clarity.

    Every thought triggers a chemical reaction in our brain. Negative thoughts—like sadness, hopelessness, or anger—release chemicals that can cause physical symptoms like clammy hands, muscle tension, and rapid heart rate. They can also impair our judgment, learning, and memory. Conversely, positive thoughts release chemicals that promote relaxation and mental clarity.

    So, how do we exterminate these mental ANTs? First, we need to identify the common species:

    • Fortune Telling: Predicting negative outcomes without evidence (“I’m going to fail this presentation”).
    • Mind Reading: Assuming you know what others are thinking (“They probably think I’m incompetent”).
    • Guilt Beatings: Using “should” or “must” to create feelings of obligation and self-criticism (“I should have done better”).
    • Blame: Shifting responsibility to others, preventing personal growth and problem-solving.
    • Labeling: Using negative labels to describe yourself or others (“I’m a failure,” “He’s a jerk”).

    Here’s a simple three-step strategy to crush your ANTs:

    1. Catch It: When you notice a negative emotion, pause and identify the thought behind it. What are you telling yourself?

    2. Name It: Determine which type of ANT is at work (fortune telling, mind reading, etc.). Giving it a name helps you recognize its pattern.

    3. Challenge It: Question the validity of the thought. Is there real evidence to support it? What’s a more realistic or positive way to view the situation?

    Example:

    • Thought: “I’m going to mess up this meeting.” (Fortune Telling)
    • Challenge: “I’ve prepared thoroughly. While things might not go perfectly, I’m capable of handling whatever comes up. Focusing on the potential negative outcome is only making me more anxious.”

    By consistently practicing this three-step method, you can weaken the power of ANTs and cultivate a more positive and productive mindset. Don’t let these mental pests control your thoughts and emotions. Take charge and reclaim your mental well-being.

    Accept, Reflect, and Redirect to Win The Day.

    What You Say Matters
    What You Say Matters

    Onward and Upward

    “Onward and upward” is a mindset that requires optimism, empathy, curiosity, and action.

    • Optimism is the ability to overcome adversity despite the circumstances.
    • Empathy is understanding situations from another’s perspective with no judgment. The ability to choose to respond rather than to react.
    • Curiosity. To be effective, be curious: curious about how people are feeling, curious about why things happen, curious about the future, curious about steps to take to navigate difficult waters.
    • Action. The winners are the doers. Talk is cheap; action speaks.

    When we make changes by design vs. default, we can craft a future that supports the growth we deserve.

    Perfection is not a standard; progress is.

    With 85 working days—19 Mondays—remaining in 2024, I’m opening up 10 slots for “what’s possible” strategy sessions. Because it’s not how you start the game; it’s how you finish.

    Onward and upward.

     

    Every Monday Matters
    Every Monday Matters

    The More Unpredictable The Environment, The Greater The Opportunity

    The more unpredictable the environment, the greater the opportunity. Consider this:

    • Competition: It demands speed, quick reactions, and agility.
    • Wisdom: It requires patience, reflection, and a long-term perspective.
    • The Art & Science: Balancing both is key.

    To navigate the unknown effectively:

    • Anticipate: Stay ahead by foreseeing trends and challenges.
    • Challenge: Question assumptions and explore alternatives.
    • Interpret: Understand context and adapt.
    • Decide: Make informed choices.
    • Align: Coordinate efforts with purpose.
    • Learn: Continuously improve.

    You can’t see the picture when you’re In the frame. Any testimonials?

    Looking for a different perspective, DM me.

     

    Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.
    Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

     

    The Ultimate Survey!

    One of my consulting clients today executed a simple survey:

    • What are we doing well?
    • What could we do better?
    • Would you refer us to others? <– leading indicator of success
    • Anything else you want to share?

    Think about it… with those four questions, you can determine the health of your business and make the adjustments.

    Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.
    Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

    Inman Connect – Las Vegas

    In today’s fast-paced world, there are countless conference opportunities for agents, team leaders, and broker-owners. Among them, Inman Connect events in New York and Las Vegas. This year’s Las Vegas event was no exception, offering a wealth of learning and networking opportunities.

    The main topic?

    Co-op commission sharing is dead, and how to move forward in a new commission model. 

    No matter which conference you choose to attend, it’s essential to have a plan for what comes next. That’s where my 4-Step Post-Conference Guide comes in. Professional conferences are unparalleled opportunities to expand your network, gain fresh ideas, deepen connections, break out of your routine, and shake things up.

    Yet, many of us struggle to take action after these events. Why is that?

    Often, it’s because we return home with an overwhelming amount of information to process.

    To combat this, it’s crucial to create a post-conference action plan that empowers you.

    The key to a successful post-conference routine is taking ACTION.

    Here are 4 steps to maximize your conference investment:

    1. Network Post-Event: Don’t let those valuable connections fade away. Follow up, close the loop, and build relationships for referrals, accountability, and more.
    2. Leverage Your Social Channels: Showcase your commitment to excellence and service by sharing your conference experiences on social media. Highlight how your time investment benefits your customers and potential clients.
    3. Organize Your Notes into a Checklist: Commit to action by creating a checklist of key takeaways and sharing it with an accountability partner, mentor, or coach. Checklists are powerful tools that help you get more done and keep your brain happy. According to research summarized by best-selling author Maria Konnikova, here’s why:
      • Your Mind Seeks Organization: Lists tap into our preferred way of receiving and organizing information at a subconscious level.
      • Spatial Processing: It’s easier to remember items when they’re written down in bulleted or numbered points.
      • Categorization: We process information more efficiently when it’s organized into lists rather than clustered in paragraphs.
      • Time Awareness: Knowing how long tasks will take increases our commitment to completing them.
      • Self-Reinforcement: Checking off items from a list provides a dopamine hit, encouraging us to return to the list for more.

      Do your brain a favor and break down what you learned into actionable checklists.

    4. Take Action NOW!: Don’t wait! Procrastination only delays your success. Implement what you’ve learned immediately.

    So, there you have it—4 steps to make the most of your conference experience!

    By design or by default
    By design vs. by default

    Solutionist

    Have you ever noticed a correlation between winning, market performance, and being a “solutionist?”

    • How do I add more value?
    • How do I contribute more?
    • What problems can I help solve?
    • When I place the client’s needs above my sales objectives it leads to more referrals and more business

    That’s a growth mindset for winning in any endeavor, yes?!

    “Solutionist!” 

     

    Doing the right thing is always the right thing.
    Doing the right thing is always the right thing.

     

     

    Saturday Reflections: Lessons from Golf for Life and Business

    Saturday Reflections: Lessons from Golf for Life and Business

    As I recover from a pinched nerve this Saturday, I find myself reflecting on some golf lesson notes I jotted down. It struck me how these concepts extend beyond the golf course, resonating with business, hobbies, and life itself. Here’s a summary of my notes:

    1. Thoughts Precede Motion: Before any action, there’s a thought. What we think shapes what we do.
    2. Being Comes First; Doing Second: Who do you need to be to achieve your goals? Your actions will follow your identity.
    3. Visualize What You Want: See it, feel it, trust it. Visualization is a powerful tool in achieving our goals.
    4. It’s Not About the Ball; It’s About What’s Possible: Focus on the potential and the possibilities, not just the immediate task.
    5. Manage Your Mental State: Prepare yourself mentally to perform at your best. Your mindset is crucial.
    6. Routine is All About Confidence: Choose confidence over comfort. A solid routine builds confidence.
    7. Tempo, Rhythm, and Balance: These are key in golf and in life. Find your flow and maintain your balance.

    Routine and consistency are still undefeated!

    As I ponder these lessons, I realize they’re not just about improving my golf game. They’re about winning the day, every day.

    #WinTheDay

    PS: What do you think? Do any of these principles resonate with you?

     

    What's Possible?
    What’s Possible?

    Time Management Does Not Work!

    In our fast-paced lives, productivity is a precious commodity. We all strive to make the most of our time, but what if I told you that the traditional concept of time management might not be the key to success? Let’s explore the paradigm shift from time management to activity management and how it can transform your results.

    Todd Duncan, a business colleague and renowned “High Trust Selling and Productivity” expert, has been advocating for a different approach. His book “Life on the Wire” delves into the nuances of achieving more by focusing on the right activities. Let’s explore his insights.

    Activity Management: The New Frontier

    Time Management vs. Activity Management:

    • Time Management: The traditional approach involves scheduling tasks based on time blocks. However, Todd argues that this method often falls short.
    • Activity Management: Instead of rigid time slots, focus on the activities that truly matter. Prioritize actions that lead to revenue, goals, or progress.

    Understanding the Traffic Lights:

    • Red Light Activities:
      • These are the time-wasters—the endless social media scrolling without purpose. They don’t contribute to your bottom line.
    • Yellow Light Activities:
      • Preparation, organizing your database, and getting ready fall into this category. They’re essential but don’t directly generate results
    • Green Light Activities:
      • These are the game-changers—the activities directly linked to achieving your recruiting goals.

    My colleague and client Cathy pointed out to me that light is Energy! Where the focus goes, the energy flows. 

    Todd also draws an analogy between light and energy. Just as light powers our world, productive activities fuel our success.

    Reflecting on Your Week

    • Take a moment to assess your past week:
      • Was approximately 80% of your time spent in the green zone?
      • Did about 20% involve yellow and perhaps some red activities?

    Action Steps

    • Minimize Red Zone Activities:
      • Identify two or more red zone activities to cut down on. Remember, multitasking often elongates tasks—focus on the ONE THING for efficiency.
    • Re-Focus on Green Zone Activities:
      • Prioritize the activities that drive results. Allocate your energy wisely, whether it’s for client meetings, prospecting, or strategic planning.

    Conclusion

    As Todd Duncan wisely puts it, “Activity management is about doing the right things at the right time.” So, let’s shift gears, embrace the green light, and watch our productivity soar!

     

    By design or by default
    By design vs. by default

    What’s On My Mind?

    What’s on My Mind: Sleep, Soil, and Next-Level Results

    Ask my family, and they’ll tell you: I’m a solid sleeper. Earthquakes, tornadoes, storms – I’ve snoozed through them all. Yet last night, insomnia paid an unwelcome visit. Regardless, I rose with determination, greeting the day with energy and gratitude.

    This morning, I found myself in the quiet embrace of a church pew, attending Mass. The message centered around soil – yes, soil. Four distinct types unfolded before me:

    • Indifferent Soil: A barren wasteland, unyielding and uncaring. It reminded me of George Bernard Shaw’s words: “The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them.” Indifference the essence of inhumanity.
    • Shallow & Superficial Soil: Like a thin layer of topsoil, barely covering the bedrock. Quick fixes, surface-level connections – they thrive here. But depth eludes us. True growth requires roots that dig deeper.
    • Distracted Soil: Scatterbrained and scattered, like seeds carried away by the wind. Distractions pull us in every direction. We forget to nurture what matters, leaving our potential untapped.
    • Committed Soil: Ah, the fertile ground! Here, seeds take root, reaching for the sun. Commitment, resilience, purpose – they flourish. Next-level results sprout from this well-tended earth.

    And the challenge echoed: “What type of soil are you?” I pondered. Perhaps I’m a mix – a garden of varied soils. Yet how can I strive for the committed soil, where growth thrives?

    Mother Teresa’s wisdom echoed, too: being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for – is a significant “disease.” It’s too easy to look the other way and say, “That does not concern me!”

    So, my friends, I’ll pass on the challenge: “How can we cultivate compassion, tend our soil, and win the day?”

     

    What's Possible?
    What’s Possible?