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What Story Are You Telling Yourself?

Have you ever thought that the person you have the most conversations with is YOU? And if that is the case for you and me, then the next natural question is, “what story are you telling yourself?” 

Various studies suggest we have anywhere from 6,200 up to 60,000 thoughts a day! Not sure who counted them all, but that is a lot of conversations going on in our heads. 

From this, we can conclude that one of the tendencies of the mind is to focus on the negative and ‘play the same songs’ repeatedly. One study suggested that 80% of our thoughts are negative and 95% of them were the same repetitive thoughts as the day before. So why is this, and what can we do about it? 

 

Why is it easier to think negatively?

 

The fact is negative events have a more significant impact on our brains than positive ones. Psychologists refer to this as the negative bias or also called the negativity bias.  Combine this with what psychologists call a confirmation bias, and you have a one-two punch. 

Confirmation bias is the tendency to listen more often to information that conforms with our pre-existing beliefs. Through this bias, people tend to favor information that reinforces the things they already believe. These biases combined have a powerful effect on our behavior, our decisions, and even our relationships.

In the Leahy Study, 2005, from Cornell University, scientists found that 85% of what we worry about never happens, and 15% of the worries did happen. 79% of the subjects discovered that either they could handle the difficulty better than expected or that the problem taught them a lesson worth learning. So, the conclusion? 

 

97% of our worries are baseless and result from an unfounded pessimistic perception.

 

Some ideas to redirect negative thoughts: 

  1. Start with a mindset of “No Judgments.” 
  2. Reframe the story. 
  3. Reframe your expectations.  
  4. Find a healthy distraction. 
  5. Commit to keeping optimistic company. 
  6. Question and rotate the media you choose to consume. 
  7. Start a beginning of the day and end of day gratitude journal 
  8. Connect with a mentor, coach, or trusted advisor 

If we took the time to document all the thoughts that pass through our minds, we could write a book every day.  Yet would that book be one that anyone else wants to read? Create a better story, wrote a better book. The question is: 

 

Who’s in charge you or your thoughts?

#WinTheDay

 

Technology vs. Relationships

Technology vs. Relationships.
The top 1% approach it differently.

Peter Sheehan, a leading expert on generational change and business performance, wrote about how peak performers use technology yet stay in touch with genuine relationships.

There are over twenty different ways to affirm others, but you can reduce them to just two verbs:

Notice and Verbalize.

What would happen if today:

  • At family gatherings, invite everyone to mention something they admire about another family member.
  • Look for someone making do in disappointing circumstances and affirm their perseverance.
  • When someone helps you change your mind about an issue, affirm their persuasiveness and communication skills.

Success can take many forms, like affirming others through noticing and verbalizing.

#WinTheDay

PS: Looking to increase your real estate team or office recruiting game? Book a demo to find out how we can 5X your ROI.

Why Do Most Efforts To Change Fail?

Well, that is a bummer of a headline! Read on.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

~ Leo Tolstoy

According to Harvard professor Dr. John Paul Kotter – and confirmed by my coaching experience – efforts to change fail due to a lack of a STRONG sense of URGENCY. In his book, “A Sense Of Urgency,” Kotter states:

Change efforts most often fail when those desiring to change do not create a high enough sense of urgency to make a challenging leap in a new direction. Urgency and urgency is key. Urgency is the state of mind that creates IMMEDIATE action in your new direction.

Once you have determined your desire, take action. Any action. A small step, a medium step, or a massive step. Taking action and taking more action is the ONE THING we must all learn to cultivate to achieve higher levels of success.

If you believe what you have in mind will make a difference, I just have two questions.

  • What are you waiting for?
  • What’s holding you back?

Whatever it is, push through it today and TAKE ACTION.

Share with someone right now the action step you are committed to taking… and ask them to help hold you accountable.

#WinTheDay

PS: Looking to increase your real estate team or office recruiting game? Book a demo to find out how we can 5X your ROI.

 

What Do You Really Want? 

A client I was coaching a number of years ago told me, “Coach Mark, I can’t wait to get started doing what we discussed today.” 

I asked what may seem like a silly question:

Q: “Why is that important to you?” 

The response was:

A: “It would help me sell more homes!” 

I then asked her:

Q: Why she wanted to sell more? 

A: “So I can make more money.” 

My next question? 

Q: “Why do you want to make more money?” 

A: She said, “Because I need the money to buy a larger home.”  

 So I asked, “Why?”

A: And she said, “Because I want my mother and sister to move in with me.”   

Why?

A: “Because it has been our dream for a few years to co-own a big house and live together as a family.” 

So NOW you have identified what you really want.

It’s a large house with your family living with you.  

 You don’t really want to sell more houses (that is a good thing but a by-product, the enabler of what you really want). 

What she REALLY wanted is the experience of having her family living in the same house.

Success for her was being able to provide a home for her mother and sister!

So what is it you REALLY want?

 

Imagine That
Imagine That

 

 

Commitment And Courage: C > F = R

“In playing ball, and in life, a person occasionally gets the opportunity to do something great. When that time comes, only two things matter: being prepared to seize the moment and having the courage to take your best swing.” ~ Hank Aaron

How To Seize The Moment?
C > F = R
When your commitment is greater than your feelings, than you get the result you want.

How To Build The Courage?
C > F = R
When your courage is greater than your fear, than you get the result you want.

#WinTheDay

PS: Looking to increase your real estate team or office recruiting game? Book a demo to find out how we can 5X your ROI.

Commitment And Courage: C > F = R
Commitment And Courage: C > F = R