Beyond the Surface: Discovering Your True “Why”

A few years ago, I was coaching a real estate agent who was eager to implement some new sales strategies. “I can’t wait to begin,” she exclaimed to me.

Instead of simply praising her enthusiasm, I asked a simple but powerful question: “Why is that important to you?”

Her initial answer was predictable: “To sell more homes.”

But I kept digging:

• “Why do you want to sell more homes?” “To make more money.”
• “Why do you want to make more money?” “To buy a larger home.”
• “Why do you want a larger home?” “So my mother and sister can move in with me.”
• “Why is that important?” “It’s been our dream to live together as a family.”

This conversation revealed something crucial: she didn’t really want to sell more houses. Selling more houses was simply a means to an end. What she truly desired was the experience of living with her family in a shared home. Her “why” wasn’t about sales figures; it was about family connection and fulfilling a long-held dream.

This principle applies to all areas of life, not just real estate. We often focus on surface-level goals—more sales, a promotion, a bigger paycheck—without considering the deeper motivations behind them.

Why is it important to uncover your true “why”?

• Increased Motivation: When you connect with your core motivations, you tap into a powerful source of intrinsic drive. This makes it easier to overcome obstacles and stay committed to your goals.
• Clearer Focus: Understanding your “why” helps you prioritize your actions and make decisions that align with your values.
• Greater Fulfillment: Achieving surface-level goals without a strong “why” can leave you feeling empty. Connecting with your deeper motivations leads to a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

How can you discover your own “why”?

Use the “5 Whys” technique, as demonstrated in the opening example. When you identify a goal, ask yourself “why” five times (or as many times as necessary) to peel back the layers and uncover the underlying motivation.

Example:

• Goal: I want to get a promotion.
• Why? To earn more money.
• Why? To provide a better education for my children.
• Why? Because I want them to have more opportunities than I did.
• Why? Because I want to ensure they have a secure and fulfilling future.

In this example, the true “why” is about providing for the next generation and ensuring their future well-being.

What are your goals? Take a moment to ask yourself “why” and dig deeper. You might be surprised at what you discover. Uncovering your true “why” is the first step towards achieving lasting success and fulfillment. And that is how we win the day!

So what is it you REALLY want?