Look, I’m the first to admit I don’t have this totally figured out. I’ve had seasons where I was purely chasing the next closing, the next recruit, or the next ego-boost on a leaderboard. We all have. In our industry, it’s almost impossible not to. But after years of riding the real estate rollercoaster, what I’ve discovered is that the “hustle” eventually runs out of gas if you don’t have something else under the hood.
Here is the truth about how this actually looks when you’re in the trenches.
The Trap of the “Next Big Thing”
Earlier in my career, I was 100% extrinsic. I thought once I hit a certain production level or bought that specific car, I’d finally feel like I “made it.” And don’t get me wrong, the money is great. It’s why we do this. But I realized that extrinsic rewards are like caffeine. They give you a massive spike, but the crash is inevitable. If your only reason for picking up the phone is the commission, then every “No” feels like a personal robbery. It makes the job heavy.
What I’ve learned is that you have to use the money as a scoreboard, not the soul of your business. If you’re a Broker Owner, you’ve probably seen agents who make a ton of money but are miserable to be around. That’s because they’ve mastered the reward but lost the “why.”
What Actually Keeps Us in the Game
The shift happened for me when I started focusing on the “Inside Game.” I started looking at a difficult negotiation not as a hurdle to my paycheck, but as a chance to see if I was actually as good at my job as I thought I was.
That’s intrinsic motivation. It’s that feeling when you solve a title issue that everyone else said was impossible, or when you see a new agent finally “get it” and realize you had a hand in their success. When I started chasing the growth and the identity of being an expert, the burnout started to fade. The weirdest part? When I stopped obsessing over the commission and started obsessing over the craft, I actually ended up making more money.
How I Balance it Now
I’m still a fan of a good incentive. I use “If-Then” rewards for the stuff I hate doing. If I grind through my recruiting calls or my P&L reviews, then I’m going to treat myself to a nice dinner or a round of golf. I use that outside reward to get me through the friction.
But for the big picture, I focus on the “Now-That” side of things. Now that I’ve built this team, how can I make us the most respected name in the market? Now that I have this platform, how can I help my staff grow their own careers?
If you are a CEO or a top producer, my advice is to stop waiting for the next trophy to make you feel successful. Use the trophies to keep the lights on, but find the part of this job that you would do even if the commission was half of what it is. Find the curiosity in the market or the pride in your professional reputation.
That’s the only way to stay a high performer without losing your mind in the process. We aren’t perfect at it, and some days are still a grind, but shifting the focus even 20% toward the “Inside Game” changes everything.
