His mother, no longer able to provide for him, turned him over to the foster care system. At 22, he was homeless with a two-year-old son to care for.
The only way he could go was up. With $700 start-up cash, he pursued his vision.
Paul Mitchell hair products and eventually Patrón tequila.
One of the most significant traits of his success, he says, was overcoming rejection.
“You’ve got to be prepared in life for a lot of rejections.”
Pointing to a time, he had to sell encyclopedias door-to-door to put food on the table. Many doors, literally, closed in his face. As a result, he came to expect rejection, which proved to be beneficial, as he learned this:
“You must be just as enthusiastic on door 51 as you were on door 50, even if all 50 of those doors are closed in your face!”
John Paul DeJoria’s journey from homeless to entrepreneur and philanthropist – now you know…the rest of the story.
#WinTheDay
Resistance is normal. What you do about it creates the future!
Recalling today a fun conversation I had with a military pilot instructor, who emphasized the importance of situational awareness in his training, the cliff notes?
Situational awareness vs. target fixation.
Target fixation is an attention phenomenon where an individual becomes so focused on the target (or a goal) that they increase their risk of crashing into the target or it places them at greater risk of ignoring other factors going on around them.
As the name implies, situational awareness is simply knowing what’s going on around you and involves at least three key steps:
1. Perception of what is happening
2. Understanding of what has been perceived
3. The use of what is understood to think ahead and act accordingly
Whether it’s sports, art, or business, understanding target fixation vs. situational awareness will serve us all very well.
Two of my sons are UC Irvine Anteaters, yet this blog is about a different type of ant. The ant of automatic negative thoughts.
A number of years ago, I had the honor of meeting Dr. Daniel Amen, and I later learned he coined the term – Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) – in the early 1990s after a hard day at the office. That day he had several very difficult sessions with suicidal patients, teenagers in turmoil, and a married couple who hated each other.
When he got home that evening, he found ants had infested his kitchen. As he started to clean them up, an acronym developed in his mind. He thought of his patients from that day – just like the infested kitchen – his patients’ brains were also infested by Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) that were robbing them of their joy and stealing their happiness.
Dr. Amen wrote a book about the brain, but it’s not just about the brain; it’s about how your brain affects your body, and how your body affects your brain. He explains that every time you have a thought, your brain releases chemicals.
Every time you have a sad, hopeless, mad, cranky, unkind, judgmental, or helpless thought, your brain immediately releases chemicals that make your body feel awful. Your hands get cold and wet, your muscles get tense, your heart beats faster, and your breathing becomes shallower. Additionally, Dr. Amen writes the activity in your frontal and temporal lobes decreases which negatively affects your judgment, learning, and memory.
The opposite is also true – whenever you have a happy, hopeful, loving, kind, or positive thought (or even just an “I’m okay” kind of thought), your brain releases a completely different set of chemicals. Your hands get warmer and dryer; your breathing becomes deeper and more regular; your muscles relax; your blood pressure decreases; and your brain works better. So what can we do about ANTs?
Just as there are a many species of ants in the world, there are different kinds of negative thought patterns (ANTs). Here are a few that Dr. Amen says we can all learn to identify:
Fortune Telling: Being masterful at predicting the worst, even though you don’t have any evidence.
Mind Reading: Where you arbitrarily believe that you know what someone else is thinking, even though they didn’t tell you. Many people do this, and more often than not it gets them into trouble. It’s a major reason why people have trouble in relationships.
Guilt Beatings: Thinking with words like should, must, ought, and have to. The words we use to talk to ourselves are very important.
Guilt is not a very good motivator for change.
Telling yourself “I should go see my grandmother” rather than “I want to spend time with my grandmother” only serves to make you feel negative.
Blame: Whenever you blame someone else for the problems in your life, you are a victim, and you can’t do anything to change it. Stay away from blaming thoughts and take personal responsibility for changing the problems you have.
Labeling: Calling yourself or someone else a derogatory name. This diminishes your ability to see situations clearly, and labels can be very harmful.
Next steps?
Whenever you find yourself feeling mad, sad, nervous, or out of control, write down what you are thinking. Then identify which ANT species is infesting your mind and talk back to it. Challenging negative thoughts (killing the ANTs) takes away their power and gives you control over your thoughts, moods, and behaviors.
Regardless of where you are on your goals year to date, there is still time to produce more this year. If your desire is to close the first half strong; not be broke on July 1, and be prepared for an amazing back half of the year,back half of the year then you gotta read this.
3 killer strategies…
Up your seller education game;
Portray trust and
Regardless of YOUR age, appeal to millennials.
Some time ago I had the honor of attending the Zillow Premier Broker event in Chicago, IL. The Zillow Consumer Housing Report was an amazing value add, and at least 3 major trends stood out for me.
Trend 1: Up Your Seller Education Game
Zillow’s research shows more than half of all sellers have NEVER sold a home before. It’s a totally new experience for them. Place yourself in their shoes: Are they scared? Are they apprehensive? Are they afraid of being taken advantage of? Do you think they wish they knew more than they do? That answer would be YES to all of those.
So, let’s look at what that means to you and me. This is one stat begging you to proactively help educate your prospects and, in the process, attract more referrals and more listings.
For those of you with extensive experience, you could write up a report like, “4 Ways To Maximize The Value Of Your Home” or “3 Essential Facts Every First-Time Home Seller Must Know” and offer them on your lead capture landing pages.
Promote them by running Facebook ads in your target communities, along with a video about how you’re passionate about educating sellers. For those of you with less experience, you can hire out these reports to content writers in your area… check out FIVERR or #GTS = Google That Stuff!
Practical ideas to consider:
Informative Direct MailCampaigns, like: The benefits of a “Home Warranty Sellers Coverage” policy
Short special reports and white papers, like: Best Home Improvements• Determining Your Homes Value• Value Of A Pre Sell Home Inspection• Benefits Of Partnering With A Hyper-Local Expert, Like Me!
Educational seminarsor zoom sessions
Short videosto walk people through the process with a call to action to reach out to you
Quick seller tipson social media with a call to action to reach out to you
And while it may be their first time, today’s sellers have access to more data and best practices BEFORE they reach out to possible selling agents. They are looking for a strategist with the market knowledge, marketing skills, and legal know-how to do the heavy lifting that will get them from sale to closing.
Some of the activities “self-starting sellers” get a jump on before engaging with an agent include home improvements (50 percent), coming up with a list price for their home (39 percent) and securing a home inspection (25 percent).
Trend 2: Ensure Your Marketing And Promotions Portray TRUST
Eighty-six percent of consumers say trustworthiness is “extremely” or “very” important when choosing an agent. When your biggest asset is at stake, you want to trust the person guiding your transaction.
So, let’s think about what makes someone trustworthy. Or better yet, let’s discuss who we don’t consider trustworthy:
Complete strangers• Salespeople who only show up when there’s something in it for them
Obviously, the more familiar people are with you, the more they are naturally likely to trust you. So, if 86 percent of consumers are telling you that you must be trustworthy to even be considered, what’s that mean to you? It means you need to be putting yourself in front of prospects over and over and over again to create that familiarity that breeds trustworthiness.
Do you have more than 5 testimonials and endorsements?• Do you create a “social proof” marketing piece that shows what OTHER people say about you?• Are you visible and involved in the communities you serve?• Are you marketing to the same neighborhoods consistently or jumping around to wherever you take your next listing?• Does your website or your marketing give any insight into who YOU are as a person, or do you come across like a real estate robot?
All of these questions lead to huge opportunities to build trust with homeowners so when they decide to sell, you’re already in that “extremely important” category of being trustworthy.
Trend 3: Regardless Of YOUR Age, Appeal To Millennials… Nearly 50% Of Your Future Business May Depend On This!
Millennials – that generation between the ages of 24 and 38 – account for 42 percent of all home buyers and 61 percent of all first-time buyers, according to Zillow’s report. These folks were raised on the Internet. As a result, they’re accustomed to Amazon-level service and ease of use. You know that experience: Where you order something late Friday night and somehow it shows up on your doorstep on a Sunday morning! That’s the standard you’re up against when you work with 42 percent of buyers. So here’s the big question:
Are your services and systems up to that standard?
If your answer is no, it’s time to adapt how you do things.
Strive to make working with you as easy as ordering from Amazon. Where can you streamline? What can you eliminate? What more can you do prior to meeting with a buyer to make the process smoother? What “extras” can you provide to make your service more beautiful? We all need to be asking ourselves these questions and refining our systems on a regular basis because that standard isn’t reversing course anytime soon. It’s only going to get higher and higher.
There you have it… 3 killer strategies… up your seller education game; portray trust and regardless of YOUR age, appeal to millennials.
To resonate with prospects, you must understand their pains, problems, desires, and triumphs.
In the game of real estate leadership and sales, resilience and mental toughness are key players.
When obstacles arise, our performance hinges on the quality of our preparation and training. But how do we cultivate resilience? By understanding the factors that can steal it away, we empower ourselves to navigate the journey from chasing perfection to creating progress.
Here are seven ways individuals inadvertently rob themselves of resilience:
1. Ignoring Emotional Signals: Leaders sometimes miss the mark by dismissing their emotional cues. Instead of suppressing feelings, we can embrace the “accept, reflect, and redirect” model, allowing emotions to guide us.
2. Avoiding Self-Reflection: Neglecting introspection limits our ability to manage stress and adversity effectively. Self-reflection helps us uncover triggers and develop coping strategies.
3. Seeking Quick Fixes: Resilience isn’t a one-time fix; it’s a continuous practice. Avoid distractions and invest in the necessary work of building adaptive mechanisms.
4. Isolating: During tough times, leaders may withdraw from support networks. Connecting with others provides valuable perspectives and bolsters resilience.
5. Neglecting Self-Care: Prioritizing physical, mental, and emotional well-being is essential. Neglecting self-care leads to burnout and compromises our ability to bounce back.
6. Ruminating on Failures: Dwelling on past setbacks without extracting lessons hinders resilience. Break the cycle of self-doubt and negativity.
7. Resisting Change: A fixed mindset impedes resilience. Embrace adaptability, and navigate change with confidence.
So, a few questions to consider:
Which one of these habits do you (your agents, your clients) fall into?
Have you ever had a cracked windshield? That small chip or crack in a windshield that, when left unattended, grows into something more noticeable and debilitating under harsh conditions or stress. To delay is to pay!
The last one I ignored ended up costing me $1,000 vs. $100 = a 10X difference.
Well, this time is like that time. It’s what’s happening to some agents, team leaders, office or regional leaders, and owners today. We are in a market that feels like a rough mountain logging road full of potholes, rocks, and other obstacles. And if you’re not diligent and attentive, that little crack spreads.
If you are a company owner, regional leader, manager or team leader – the cracks are things like a disappointment with a new or old policy, an unresolved conflict with brokerage staff, a CRM that’s outdated, a misunderstanding of administrative support, or other things getting under the skin of an agent.
If you are an agent – it’s not knowing where your next new appointment is coming from or not having the systems in place to service, the new business while continuing to generate more.
I’m not sure of your dream, yet I suspect for many of you, it’s more financial freedom through a consistent business, better health, stronger relationships, and more connectedness with your community. Yet let’s face it, so many times when you are about to start something toward those dreams, the onslaught of excuses floods your mind like water gushing out of a broken pipe.
The theme of these excuses always traces back to the same root… “I don’t feel like it.”
How many times have you said, “I don’t feel like it?” How many times have you listened to that thought, allowing it to alter the course of your actions?
What if you could make a different choice?
Here is what I know the 5 words – “I don’t feel like it” – is the universal human condition that silently kills dreams more dreams than any other 5 words ever created. Yet you and I don’t have to accept this dream killer. We can all overcome the feeling and move powerfully towards our goals and dreams.
Next time you say to yourself, “I don’t feel like it,” you can say of course I don’t, yet I’m choosing to do it anyway!
Step 1: Accept Your Emotional Level Then Redirect
Whatever you are feeling, give yourself permission to feel that way. Instead of denying the reality of your feelings, acknowledge them. Consider sitting with them for a moment and then make an active decision to regroup. What’s that famous quote? “You can’t stop the birds from flying around your head, yet you can stop them from making a nest.”
Accept, reflect, then redirect.
Step 2: Take Action Toward Your Intention
Instead of listening to “I don’t feel like it” now you are in a position to take a different action. To overcome your feelings and move towards your dreams. In business and in life, you state your goals and plot your course for reaching them. However, there will be many days when you don’t feel like doing the work, yet go ahead and do it anyway … “feeling like it” is not a pre-requisite.
I need to get __________ fixed in my business?!
Final thought… who’s in charge, you or your feelings?
I was recently reflecting on some coaching conversations and thinking about vectors and the “1 in 60 Rule.” Let me explain:
In math and physics, a vector is a quantity having direction as well as magnitude, especially as determining the position of one point in space relative to another.
If a pilot makes the slightest one-degree error in the aircraft’s flight path, after traveling one mile the plane will be off the course by 92 feet. And after going 60 miles, that error adds up to being a mile off the path.
A minor off-course adjustment over time and distance magnifies the error. If a pilot were flying from New York to Los Angeles, a one-degree shift in the flight path over the entire course would put the plane nearly 35 nautical miles to the South in Orange County at SNA, not Los Angeles LAX.
I work with a lot of entrepreneurs, and many times they call with a complete overall idea – overwhelmed and burned out – yet many times it’s just the 1-degree change that compounds over time that is needed.
“The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.”
~ Darren Hardy
Caution: the compound effect – it works both ways – positive or negative.
