You know that feeling, right? You’re in the thick of it – whatever “it” is for you right now. Maybe it’s a tough project at work, a challenging personal goal, a difficult family situation, or even just a really rough patch in your training. It feels endless. Brutal. You’re tired, maybe even in pain, and that little voice in your head starts screaming, “This will never end. I can’t do this. I need to quit.”

Sound familiar? We’ve all been there. Staring down something that feels absolutely insurmountable.

But here’s the truth, and this is a sentiment powerfully echoed by Spartan founder Joe De Sena:

Nothing stays hard forever.

Think about it. That stress at work? It will eventually ease. That difficult conversation you’re dreading? It will happen, and then it will be over. That feeling of being completely overwhelmed? It doesn’t last. Life has its ebbs and flows, and those tough times, those storms, always pass.

You know that image, right? The one of the person digging through a tunnel, just inches away from breaking through to the light, and they give up? Joe De Sena often talks about this – that’s where so many of us falter. Right there, on the verge of a breakthrough.

Trust me, I’ve been that person in different ways throughout my life. We all have those moments where we feel like we’ve hit our limit. And speaking from personal experience, having crossed the finish line of eight Spartan races myself – including the grueling Beast – I can tell you firsthand that those moments of wanting to quit are real, and they are intense.

I remember during one particularly brutal stretch of the Beast, slogging through mud, muscles screaming, the next obstacle feeling miles away, that voice was practically a roar. But what got me through, what gets any of us through those seemingly impossible challenges, is the understanding that those moments don’t last.

I remember when I first started pushing my physical boundaries. Every new distance felt impossible. But what I learned was the power of just focusing on the next small step. Instead of dwelling on the miles ahead, I’d tell myself, “Just make it to that next lamppost. That’s the goal.” And then the next. And the next. This idea of breaking down the impossible into manageable chunks is something Joe De Sena champions – focusing on the immediate effort rather than being overwhelmed by the enormity of the task.

And what I discovered was that those “finish lines” I kept creating for myself? They were arbitrary. My actual capacity was always greater than what I initially believed. As Joe often says, we are capable of so much more than we think. Those eight Spartan races, each one a testament to pushing beyond perceived limits, have solidified that truth for me.

Here’s something I’ve come to understand, a principle that resonates deeply with Joe De Sena’s philosophy:

Wherever you mentally draw the line is often where you’ll stop.

And this brings me to something I’ve been thinking about lately, something a lot of us grapple with: what happens after you conquer a big challenge? You pour everything into reaching a major goal – maybe it’s finishing a marathon, launching a business, or overcoming a significant personal hurdle. You cross that finish line, and there’s this incredible sense of accomplishment. But then… what?

Sometimes, that feeling of triumph can be followed by a bit of a letdown. The intense focus and drive that propelled you forward can suddenly feel… absent. It’s like you’ve emptied the tank, and the idea of filling it up again for something new feels daunting. You might find yourself struggling to regain momentum, wondering how to transition that energy into the next big thing.

This is a question I see echoed in the spirit of Joe De Sena’s “You Ask, Joe Answers” – how do you keep pushing, keep striving, after achieving something significant? The key, I’ve learned, and this aligns with Joe’s direct and action-oriented advice, isn’t to wait for some grand wave of motivation to wash over you. That feeling might not come right away. Instead, it’s about taking that initial, sometimes uncomfortable, step. Think of it like this: you’ve just completed a long, hard climb. You might be tired, but the view from the top is amazing. To see the next vista, you don’t need to immediately sprint up another mountain.

You just need to start walking in that direction.

Pick one small action, something manageable, that nudges you towards your next goal. It doesn’t have to be monumental. It could be a phone call, some research, a single workout.

The act of starting, even in a small way, creates its own momentum.

It reminds your mind and body that you’re still in motion, still capable. As Joe De Sena often says, “Just start.” Don’t overthink it, just initiate.

So, if there’s one thing I want you to take away from this today, inspired by the relentless spirit of Joe De Sena and my own experiences on the Spartan racecourse:

• Tell yourself the story you need to hear to keep going. The struggle will end. Sometimes, you need to give yourself a little mental nudge, a little lie even, to push through that immediate discomfort. Focus on the eventual relief, the feeling of accomplishment.
• Embrace the tough parts. Yes, they suck while you’re in them. They’re the parts we naturally want to avoid. But here’s the secret, a core tenet of the Spartan mindset: those hard times? They’re where the real growth happens. They forge resilience and reveal strength you didn’t know you had. Trust me, I’ve seen it firsthand, both in myself and in countless others on those grueling courses.
• Believe in your deeper strength. We are all far more capable than we often give ourselves credit for. You have reserves of strength, both mental and physical, that you can tap into when things get tough. And when you reach a big goal, don’t let that be the end of the story. Use that accomplishment as fuel to ignite the next chapter, one intentional step at a time – a philosophy championed by Joe De Sena himself, and one I’ve lived through, mud, sweat, and burpees included.

So, what’s that one hard thing you’re facing right now? What’s that next small step you can take, even if you don’t feel fully “ready”? Remember, you’ve got this.

Here’s to embracing the challenges, because that’s where we truly discover what we’re made of, and here’s to finding that next path forward, one intentional step at a time – a lesson I’ve learned time and again, not just from Joe De Sena, but from the grit and camaraderie of the Spartan race community.

Hey everyone! I recently dove into one of the newsletters from James Clear, the author of the bestselling book “Atomic Habits” and creator of the popular 3-2-1 email. For those unfamiliar, Clear is known for his practical and insightful writing on habits, productivity, and personal growth. His 3-2-1 format delivers three ideas from him, two quotes from others, and one thought-provoking question each week.

After reading and reflecting on his latest installment (you can find the original here: https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/march-27-2025), a few key takeaways really stuck with me:

3 Ideas That Resonated Deeply

Clear’s own ideas this time were particularly impactful:

1. Reclaiming Our Mental Energy: He wisely pointed out, “Take all the energy you spend on… worrying about the past, worrying about the future, worrying about what others think, worrying about if you might fail… and channel that energy into one useful action within your control.” It’s such a simple yet powerful concept. How often do we get bogged down in anxieties that lead nowhere? This is a great reminder to redirect that precious mental fuel towards something constructive.

2. The Hidden Lessons in Failure: Clear also highlighted that “Stories of failure resonate more than stories of success. Few people reach the top, but everyone has failed—including those who eventually succeed. If you’re teaching people how to succeed in a given field (or talking about your own success), start with how you failed.” This resonated because it normalizes setbacks and emphasizes the learning that comes from them. We often learn more from our mistakes than our victories.

3. The Power of What We Avoid: This idea offered a fresh perspective: “Success is largely the failures you avoid. Health is the injuries you don’t sustain. Wealth is the purchases you don’t make. Happiness is the objects you don’t desire. Peace of mind is the arguments you don’t engage. Avoid the bad to protect the good.” It’s a subtle but profound shift in thinking – sometimes progress isn’t about what we actively pursue, but what we consciously choose to steer clear of.

2 Quotes That Gave Me Food for Thought

The quotes Clear shared from others were equally insightful:

1. Finding Value in Stillness: Banker and archaeologist John Lubbock wisely said, “Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time” (Source: The Use of Life). In our busy lives, this is a crucial reminder that downtime isn’t a luxury, but a necessity for our well-being and creativity.

2. The Unconditional Love of Parenthood: English teacher Elizabeth Stone beautifully captured the transformative nature of having children: “It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body” (Source: A Boy I Once Knew). As a parent, this quote struck a deep chord, perfectly articulating the unique vulnerability and boundless love that comes with raising a child.

1 Question That Prompted Self-Reflection

Finally, Clear posed a thought-provoking question: “Who do you secretly envy—and what does that reveal about what you truly value?” This is the kind of question that makes you pause and really examine your inner desires and priorities. Our envy can often be a compass pointing towards what we genuinely care about.

Overall, this latest 3-2-1 from James Clear offered valuable insights on managing our mental energy, embracing failure, understanding success through avoidance, the importance of rest, the profound impact of parenthood, and the lessons hidden within our envy. It’s definitely a newsletter worth checking out if you’re interested in personal growth and thoughtful reflection!

What resonated most with you?

Ever lost a top-producing agent or had a promising MLO slip through your fingers? Or struggled to convince a talented professional to join your brokerage or team? Yeah, me too. It’s easy to think compensation plans and fancy tech are the only answers, but the truth is, the principles of influence are the unseen forces that can make all the difference in attracting and keeping the best talent.

Forty years ago, psychologist Robert Cialdini cracked the code on this phenomenon in his groundbreaking book, “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.” And guess what? In today’s competitive real estate and mortgage landscape, understanding and applying these principles is absolutely critical for broker owners and recruiters.

My “Aha!” Moment (and Cialdini’s) – Tailored for Leaders

Cialdini’s journey into the world of influence started with a seemingly simple encounter. For us in leadership, think of it like this: remember that star agent you almost lost to a competitor? Or that rockstar MLO you couldn’t quite close? It wasn’t just about the commission split they were offered; it was likely about the way the opportunity was presented and the underlying psychological factors at play.

That got Cialdini thinking: “Isn’t that interesting? Isn’t that worth studying?” And for us, the question becomes: “How can we leverage these insights to build a magnetic brokerage and attract and retain top-tier professionals?”

The Six (and Now Seven) Pillars of Persuasion – Your Recruitment & Retention Toolkit

Cialdini’s research revealed six key principles that underlie effective persuasion. Here’s how broker owners and recruiters can strategically apply them:

• Scarcity: Don’t just talk about your brokerage; highlight unique opportunities that agents/MLOs might miss elsewhere. Limited-time incentives for joining, exclusive training programs, or a cap on the number of agents in a specialized niche can create that crucial sense of urgency and FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). For retention, subtly remind them of the unique benefits they enjoy that competitors might not offer.
• Authority: Position yourself and your leadership team as industry experts and thought leaders. Share your successes, provide valuable market insights, and showcase your mentorship capabilities. This builds trust and makes your brokerage a desirable place to learn and grow. For retention, consistently demonstrate your expertise and provide ongoing support that reinforces your authority as a leader.
• Social Proof: Showcase the success stories of your current agents and MLOs. Testimonials, awards, high sales volumes, and positive team culture all serve as powerful social proof. Highlight how others like them are thriving in your environment. For retention, publicly celebrate their achievements and foster a strong sense of community where agents/MLOs feel they are part of a successful collective.
• Liking: Build genuine relationships with potential recruits and nurture those connections with your existing team. Be approachable, listen actively, and show genuine interest in their goals and aspirations. A positive and supportive brokerage culture is a huge draw. For retention, prioritize open communication, create opportunities for social interaction, and foster a sense of belonging.
• Reciprocation: Go the extra mile to provide value before asking for commitment. Offer valuable resources, training sessions, or networking opportunities to potential recruits. For your current team, consistently offer support, mentorship, and resources that help them succeed. This creates a sense of obligation and loyalty.
• Commitment and Consistency: Encourage small initial commitments from potential recruits, like attending an informational session or having a casual coffee chat. Once they’ve made a small step, they’re more likely to make a larger commitment to join. For retention, publicly acknowledge their contributions and encourage them to take on leadership roles or participate in brokerage initiatives. This reinforces their commitment.

And that crucial seventh principle:

• Unity: Emphasize the shared values, vision, and culture of your brokerage or team. Highlight what makes you unique and create a sense of “us.” When recruiting, focus on finding individuals who align with your core principles. For retention, cultivate a strong sense of community and belonging, where agents/MLOs feel connected to something bigger than just their individual transactions.

Why This Matters More Than Ever – The Competitive Edge

In today’s fiercely competitive real estate and mortgage markets, simply offering a slightly better commission split isn’t enough. Understanding and strategically applying these principles of influence can give you a significant edge in attracting and retaining top talent. It’s about creating an environment where agents and MLOs want to be, not just where they feel they have to be.

My Takeaway: Lead with Connection and Shared Purpose

For us as leaders, the biggest takeaway from Cialdini’s work, specifically applied to our world, is the power of connection and shared purpose. It’s not just about convincing someone to join or stay; it’s about building a community where they feel valued, supported, and aligned with a common goal.

So, the next time you’re looking to recruit a top producer or retain a valuable team member, think beyond the basic incentives. How can you leverage scarcity, authority, social proof, liking, reciprocation, commitment, and – most importantly – unity to create a truly magnetic and sticky environment?

What are your thoughts on applying these principles to agent/MLO recruitment and retention? What strategies have you found most effective?