As some of you know, I’m training for the Long Beach Half Marathon. Part of that training includes cross-training on the bike and the rower, and on the bike I’ve spent a few work out sessions with Ashley Paulson, an iFit trainer, indoor cycling instructor, and marathon runner.
Somewhere between the intervals and the climbs, Ashley tells a story about resistance and persistence. It stuck with me, and I think it will stick with you too.
The Story
A quick disclaimer: I was taking mental notes while pedaling, so I may not have the exact times or the exact number of attempts right. But you’ll get the gist of the story.
Ashley wasn’t a high school or college cross country standout. She didn’t run track. After having four kids, she set a goal most people would call unrealistic: qualify for the U.S. Olympic Marathon Trials.
- On her first attempt, she missed the qualifying time by about a minute.
- On her second attempt, she missed by about 30 seconds.
- The next time, she missed by roughly 15.
- And on one attempt, she came up short by just 1 second!
Did she get discouraged? Of course she did, just like you and I would. Coming that close, over and over, is its own kind of pain. It’s easy to wonder whether the goal is still worth chasing.
But Ashley did something I’ve had to learn the hard way over 30+ years in business and life. She followed three steps:
- Accept. The result is the result. The clock doesn’t negotiate. Instead of arguing with reality or making excuses, she owned where she was.
- Reflect. What happened? What worked, what didn’t, and what’s within my control next time? Reflection isn’t beating yourself up. It’s gathering information.
- Redirect. Take what you learned and point your energy at the next attempt, with an adjusted plan.
Long story short, after several attempts, Ashley beat the required time and went to the Olympic Trials.
What Mental Toughness Really Is
Ashley’s story is a textbook example of mental toughness. Mental toughness is the ability to stay committed to a goal and keep performing through setbacks, discomfort, and pressure. It isn’t the absence of disappointment or doubt. It’s feeling both and choosing to keep going anyway. Accept, Reflect, and Redirect is simply mental toughness put into practice.
What This Means for You
If you’re in real estate, you know this cycle well. The listing appointment you didn’t win. The buyer who went with another agent. The recruit who chose a different brokerage. The quarter that came in short of plan.
Missing by a minute, then 30 seconds, then 15, then just 1 second is not failure. That’s progress, even when it doesn’t feel like it. The agents, managers, and broker-owners who win over time aren’t the ones who never miss. They’re the ones who Accept, Reflect, and Redirect, and then show up again the next day to execute the fundamentals.
So after your next disappointment, ask yourself: Have I accepted it? What did I learn? Where do I point my energy now?
My Own 13.1
Now, about Long Beach. I’m not looking to break any records. I’m going to participate and cross the finish line alongside one of my sons. For me, that is the win.
Not every goal has to be 26.2 miles and a ticket to the Olympic Trials. But every goal, big or small, gets reached the same way: one training day, one conversation, one step at a time.
